Venus vs Mars ... The Short Version.

Girl and boy are having a relationship of about four months now.
One Friday night they meet at a bar after work.
They stay for a few drinks, then go and get some food at a
local restaurant near their respective homes.
They eat, then go back to his house and she stays over.
Her story:
He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have
been because I was a bit late but he didn't say anything much about it.
The conversation was quite slow going, so I thought we should go off
somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. So we went to
this restaurant and he's STILL a bit funny and I'm trying to cheer him
up and start to wonder whether it's me or something else.
I ask him, and he says no. But you know I'm not really sure.
So anyway, in the cab back to his house, I say that I love him and he
just puts his arm around me. I don't know what the hell this means
because you know he doesn't say it back or anything.
We finally get back to his place I'm wondering if he's going to dump me!
So I try to ask him about it but he just switches on the TV.
Reluctantly, I say I'm going to go to sleep. Then, after about 10
minutes, he joins me and we have sex. But, he still seemed really
distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to leave.
I dunno, I just don't know what he thinks anymore.
I mean, do you think he's met someone else???
His story:
Bad day at work. But, I got laid.

Another story in the same vein...
Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine.
He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time.
A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy
themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while
neither one of them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when
they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine and, without really
thinking, she says it aloud:
"Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for
exactly six months?"

And then there is silence in the car.

To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence.
She thinks to herself:Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that?
Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him
into somekind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of
relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so
I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way
we are, moving steadily toward...I mean, where are we going? Are we just
going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we
heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together?
Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking: So, that means it was...let's see...February when
we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the
dealer's, which means...let me check the odometer... Whoa! I am way overdue for
an oil change here.

And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face.
Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our
relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed, even
before I sensed it, that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet
that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own
feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I'm going to have them look at the
transmission again.
I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right.
And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time.
What cold weather? It's 25 degrees and this thing is shifting like a
garbage truck, and I paid those morons $600.

And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be
angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the
way feel. I'm just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day
warranty...the stupid jerks.

And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a
knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next
to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I
truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me.
A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty?
I'll give them a warranty.

"Roger," Elaine says aloud.
"What?" says Roger, startled.
"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning
to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have... Oh God, I feel so...
(She breaks down, sobbing.)
"What?" says Roger.
"I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I
really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."
"There's no horse?" says Roger.
"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine says.
"No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
"It's just that...it's that I...I need some time," Elaine says.
There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries
to come up with a safe response.
Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.
"OK," he says.
Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.
"Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?" she says.
"What way?" says Roger."That way about time," says Elaine.
"Oh," says Roger. "Sure."
Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to
become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it
involves a horse. At last she speaks.
"Thank you, Roger," she says.
"Thank you,"says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted,
tortured soul, and weeps until dawn.
When Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV,
and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between
two Czechoslovakians he never heard of.
A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was
going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would
ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.
The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them,
and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours.
In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said,
going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of
meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to
discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never
reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing squash one day with a mutual friend of
his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say,
"Norm,  did Elaine ever own a horse?"

And that's the difference between men and women!